Call Of Duty What If's
by Lil Lucario
Summary: Call Of Duty is a violent, rated m game, but how would it affect a 5 year old, and What if Call Of Duty was created by crazy people?
1. What If A 5 year old played Call Of Duty

Call Of Duty: The Good, Bad, And Ugly comedy part 1: What If a 5 year old played call of duty?

So call of duty is a rated m game. But what if a 5 year old played it?

"Don't make me tickle you with my funthrower bitch!" said the 5 year old. Then he went up stairs.

"Hey mom, what does shit mean?" asked the 5 year old

"Well Stevie, Ill tell you when you are older, but ill give you a hint, it comes out of your behind." She responded.

"And mom, where is dad?"

"he made a stop on the way home, oh here he is!"

"hey champ! I brought you something!" said the father

"Arf!" IT WAS A DOG!

"Doggie!" said the 5 year old

"Arf!" the dog started running at the 5 year old in a cheerful way, but the child didn't think so.

"Shit! Dogs!" he said, then when the dog jumped on him, and about to lick his face, he snaped the dogs neck.

"Arp!" then the dog died

"(Sigh) that's the fourth one of the week." Said the dad

"Hey stevie, what the hell are you doing to the body?" asked the dad

"I am teabaggin him!" he said

"That's our son!"


	2. What If Call Of Duty Was wacked?

"Go!, Go! Get to the Lz!" Said Soap

You know the scene. Snowmobiles, and on the run. Mantis, the new recruit, and capt. Macmillian and Capt. Mactavish

"Hunter 2-1 this is overlord, do you have the charms?"

"We have the cereal! Shite the bastard kids are firing water ballons! Mashmallow power!"

Then they started running their snowmobiles on a rainbow

"What the hell? Okay, I thought this was a hardcore task force, not some Irish or whatever mashmallow freaks! And when does shit have a e on the end?!" Yelled Mantis

Then as they jumped the gorge, Mantis fell off his snow mobile

"!!!" he cried

"clover power!" Said captain Macmillan, and roach was saved by a magical flying clover, but one of the lucky charms boxes fell of Mantis

"I am going in" and Captain Macmillian bunged down and came up with the box in his hands.

"Clova! Clova! Where is the others?!" he asked

"(Cough) They… They have Timer…"

"Who else Clova? Who else do those cheeky bastards have? (Cries)"

"Rainbow… and sunshine (Dies and epic music plays) CLOOOOOOVA!!!"

"Soap, Mantis, we are going to get them"

To be continued…. Right now

Act 2

"You think cause you say nothing… you are strong?" asked random 7 year old number 1

"Send in Mr. Kibbles, he will torture them."

Mr. Kibbles, the kitty came in, and brought in a laptop

"Meow."

"Yes sir General Kibbles."

Then he went to youtube and typed in Rick Astley

"You wouldn't dare!" said Sunshine

Never gonna give you up! (song plays) "No!"

The song stopped

"Rainbow! Don't tell em, a Fuckin' thang!" Said Sunshine

"Meow, Meow motherfuka." And Mr. Kibbles scratched Sunshine, and instead of blood coming out, sugar splurted all over the wall and sunshine died. Then Mr. Kibbles was about to kill Rainbow, Captain Mactavish bursted in, and Mr. Kibbles ran away

"Damn… Mr. Kibbles must die, but not today… well get him rainbow… you'll have vengeance." He said (Epic ending music plays).


	3. What If This Was A Level In COD Vietnam?

What If this is COD Vietnam's best level?

"Corporal Rambo, I need you to do something for me." Asked the president as he was watched millions of Hippies chanting outside

"whisper whisper…" He said

"Yessir." Said Rambo

Rambo stepped outside with an AK-47 to the chants of

"Don't Nuke Vietnam! Broh!" and "No more War! We Want more weed!"

Then Cpl. Rambo turned to the president, and the presdent nodded, and he pulled out his AK-47 and said

"Hippie who smokes first (Cocks gun) smokes last."

And he gunned down all the hippies

"O shit broh! We gotta get the weed we forgot!" One said as running

They kept singing "Kum-bye-yah" but they got killed, all of em.

Now I got a question for you… would you love to kick some hippie ass in Call of duty Vietnam?

Tell me in reviews


	4. What If Call Of Duty Was Whacked? Part 2

"Hey mommy can I have that game?" asked Stevie, the 5 year old baby who has a teretz for snapping necks of dog's who like to like his face.

"That doesn't look kid friendly." She said

But Stevie got it through the black market, and that game was saw

"Would you like to play a game?" asked a weird person who seems to like and paint himself

"Well dipshit, I've been playing' your ass for 5 minutes now, and most of that time was loading time." Said Stevie, so he took out saw and put in call of duty muttering to himself how homo it is to paint your face.

"The next level I have to do is called the assassination of Mr. Kibbles…WTF?"

So now we go to Mantis's point of view…

"Wild dog, don't attract any attention." Said captain Macmillian

Mantis shot the dog

"Shite I told you not to shoot the pooch!" Screamed Macmillian

"Why is there an e at the end of shit?!" screamed mantis

"About 50 dogs are coming at us, use the marshmallow power sunshine!"

And suddenly the world became happy, gas was .89 cents, Ralph Wiggum wasn't stupid, Jimmy Falon was actually funny, and Boots caught Ebola and gave it to Dora, and they both died, and Nickelodeon became high, and replaced it with a show where suicide bombers attack sesame street. But most of all, the doggies got good homes, and didn't kill anymore, the end

HEY WE ARENT DONE!

Act 2

"There is Mr. Kibbles, switch to catnip launcher and shoot it at 10 o clock to distract him" said capt. Macmillian."

"Okay." Said Mantis

"Well go ahead laddie shoot that kitty shite." Said Macmillian

"You said at 10 o clock it is 7 o clock now!" Said Mantis

"No 10 o clock direction lad." Said Macmillian

"Oh" and he shot the fur ball

"Oh good I see a fur ball over there!" thought Kibbles

"finish the mission, play gaily later" he thought, but could not resist, so he played with, the fur ball, and he was snipped in the paw.

"Holy litterbox!" he said, and he was getting away!

"Mashmallow power steady aim pro!" said Macmillian, and he nailed Kibbles… in the other paw

"dammit kill me!" he cried

So Macmillian threw a leprechaun at him, and the leprechauns BO killed Kibbles

"Quick Laddie, I will use my Pikachu to fly away!" said Macmillian

And so they flew away on a Pikachu………..yea…………

But then we see Mr. Kibbles epically twitch! (Hun Hun Hun!)

Authors note: who thinks I was high when writing this?


End file.
